Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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