New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Let's paint friendship bongs
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My vagina is officially offended.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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