just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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