I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
