I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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