she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
