yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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