worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
