i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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