Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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