He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
