dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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