I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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