Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
