If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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