why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
