i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
