he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
