So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
