so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
