I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
