perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
