He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
