the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
