He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize