she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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