her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
