I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize