that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize