she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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