after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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