wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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