dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I touched a dick in church today
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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