i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
