Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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