Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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