No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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