yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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