He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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