remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
