the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
