And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize