Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
