Your favorite bartender is back from prision
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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