I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
