wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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