Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
