I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
