Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Shitshow foam night was such a success
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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