I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
