feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
