Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
