Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
