So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
