Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
