we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
