Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I need water and some morals
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
