I CAN MOONWALK!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize