Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
