That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
