Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
