I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
