I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My vagina is officially offended.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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