I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
