margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
