But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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