I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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