i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
