I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
