Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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