my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
