I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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