I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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