we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The air was thick with penises
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
