We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
