I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
