are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize